Today's Special Guest: Kathy Sharp

Kathy Sharp explores resentment and its impact, highlighting the importance of overcoming it for personal and societal progress, and sharing her journey of gratitude, community, and service.

Today, I am thrilled to introduce you to Kathy Sharp, author of Aging Into Poverty, a 2025 nominee for the Suraj Mal and Shyama Devi Book Prize 2025, hosted by IAFFE (International Association for Feminist Economics, and my life partner for more than two decades.

Kathy explores the emotion of resentment and argues that overcoming it is necessary for personal and societal progress. She shares her personal journey of overcoming resentment while caring for her mother and how it led her to community and service.

You can also listen to her podcast here.

The Price of Holding Resentment

I want to explore the seduction of the emotion of resentment and the journey to overcome its pull both personally and as a society. In most of the world’s religions, resentment is a sin—an emotion that pulls us away from God and whose seductive pull blinds us to the experiences of joy, gratitude, and community.

By refusing to give up a “justified resentment,” you may believe that you are punishing the person who wronged you. However, resentful behavior actually leads you to feel hurt and victimized again, disempowered. To let go of resentment would be to experience increased freedom and mental health.

What is the price for holding a resentment?

By refusing to give up a “justified resentment,” you may believe that you are punishing the person who wronged you. However, resentful behavior actually leads you to feel hurt and victimized again, disempowered. To let go of resentment would be to experience increased freedom and mental health.¹

The Temptation to Harbor Resentment

Why might it be tempting to harbor resentment?

• It gives the illusion of power and control.

• It provides energy and impetus to get things done.

• It is a way to avoid uncomfortable communication.

• It seems to offer protection from vulnerability, a way to feel safe.

• It allows a person to feel “right.”

• It may provoke guilt in others.

• It is a way to avoid the feelings under the anger.

• It is a way to continue to hold on to a relationship that might otherwise end.

• It allows a person to avoid responsibility and stay in the role of victim.

Resentment in the Current Economy

I have come to believe that our current economy, with its increasing economic inequality, job insecurity, breakdown of community, rapid technological changes, and inaccessibility of affordable housing, healthcare, and education, has left so many of us—even those with relative privilege—feeling some level of resentment against those who are perceived to benefit from the current system.

The seduction of resentment allows us to “feel right,” “protected from vulnerability,” and to have a way to feel safe. However, those seduced by resentment are forced to remain in the role of victim. President-Elect Trump promised, “I will be your protector, whether you want it or not.” These words from the resenter-in-chief highlighted the role that the seduction of resentment played in the election. Resentment of immigrants, resentment of those perceived to be favored by Democratic policies, resentment of women’s changing roles in society, resentment at the failure of our economy to lift all, and resentment of the draining of jobs and population from the industrial heartland of America.

Overcoming Resentment in Society

Resentment is a sin keeping us all locked in our role of victim, blaming others, righteous in our anger. The challenges ahead of us will require that we come together to overcome the politics of resentment. Climate change, the possibility of another pandemic, the rapid changes brought about by AI, and the needs of an aging population will require that we overcome both personally and as a society the seduction of resentment and come together in community.

Moving from Resentment to Gratitude

Moving from resentment to gratitude, from individualism to community, from anger to joy will require more of us personally and as a society. We live in siloed communities listening to different information sources. Religious beliefs can separate as much as build community. The social services safety net is already strained.

Personal Journey: Overcoming Resentment

My personal journey to overcome resentment in order to shoulder the financial, emotional, and physical challenges of caring for my mother required that I overcome anger at her own bad decisions, at family members who refused to help, and at the bureaucratic hurdles to access limited aid. In this personal journey, I forged new community, recognizing my alliance with other low-income seniors who had traveled this path and could provide help. I chose my family, those who I could rely on. I doubled down on understanding history and sociology to put my personal experience in context, ultimately writing my book, Aging Into Poverty. Now that my mother has passed, I have recommitted to service, gleaning for a local food pantry, advocating for low-income seniors with AARP, and reaching out to people in other cultures by learning to speak Spanish.

Embracing Community and Joy

This is my journey. I trust that I will be challenged again and again to move beyond the seduction of resentment to experience the joy of community and liberation from righteous anger. This brief video by the Portland Fruit Tree Project is a beautiful vision of our local community addressing food insecurity and climate change with joy - a beautiful antidote to individualism and resentment.²

Gleaning healthy food for the community | © Portland Fruit Tree Project

 

1. Resentment and Forgiveness. https://www.unh.edu/pacs/resentment-forgiveness

2. Portland Fruit Tree Project. https://www.portlandfruit.org/